Frag It!
by JetfireWeasleyThe5th
Summary: After a party at the Decepticon base, a certain mech and femme wake up with an all-too-clear memory of the night before. They might have just been able to forget about it, if it weren't for a certain seeker... Blitzarachnia randomness, rated T
1. Let Your Guard Down

**Disclaimer: Bayverse would never have happened if I'd owned TF.**

* * *

Pairing: BlitzArachnia

Rating: T

The Decepticons were celebrating. Not something that happened every day, but then Team Chaar had just joined the ranks on Earth, and what had started as a toast to the new arrivals with High Grade and oil had rapidly evolved into a full-blown revelry.

Blackarachnia had only downed a couple of cubes, but even that had been enough to get her overcharged – largely due to her organic half. She wasn't nearly as wasted as some of the mechs, however. Lugnut had challenged Shockwave to a drinking contest (much to Strika's annoyance) and the spy had surprisingly agreed, so as a result both were huddled at a table with Shockwave on the verge of passing out, determined not to succumb and lose to Lugnut despite the fact that he was clearly a lightweight and no match for the behemoth. Rumble and Frenzy were attempting a dance-off on a nearby table, with both having fallen off too many times to count, and as for Blitzwing…

Well.

Blitzwing.

'Life and soul of the party' was one way to describe him in his current state. Of course, another phrase that could easily apply was 'completely and utterly plastered'. The tri-polar triple changer was _everywhere_ – he'd already got into a fight with three of the Combaticons (Hothead); attempted to join Rumble and Frenzy's dance-off with a move he'd picked up on the internet called 'Caramelldansen' (Random), overturning a table in the process; and Icy was currently standing with his arms around the shoulders of Wildrider and Breakdown as all three belted out a Cybertronian drinking song at full volume.

In fact, it was getting rather noisy in general in the rec room. Some of the mechs, seeing her no doubt through what humans termed 'beer goggles', had also started trying to hit on her, and drunk as she was there was no_ way_ Blackarachnia was going anywhere with Spittor or Motormaster. All in all she deemed it best to duck outside for a while.

Dodging a drunken Vortex as he made a grab for her aft (and accidentally-on-purpose stomping hard on his pede), Blackarachnia wandered unsteadily across the room until she reached the door. Activating the controls, she stumbled outside, and was relieved to see that the corridor was currently deserted. With a sigh of relief, she staggered off down the passage; unconsciously humming Blitzwing's drinking song as she went.

However, she had barely gone three steps when the rec room door slid open again behind her and she was greeted by the last mech she wanted to see while she was trying to achieve peace and quiet.

"Eeyyy, Spidey!" Blitzwing called, Random personality firmly in place. "Vhere're jou going? Zis party too much for jou?"

"Frag off, you freak!" Blackarachnia snapped in a slightly slurred voice, not even deigning to turn around.

"Ooooh, look who's talking!" Blitzwing cackled. "Anyvay, zat's no vay to treat a mech who's come to give jou a present!" He switched to Icy mode and stumbled after the femme, catching up with her just as she turned to look at him.

"Present?" Blackarachnia demanded. "What present? What the slag're you talking about?"

Blitzwing smirked.

"Zis present," he replied, leaning down and pressing his lips against hers.

The kiss was sloppy and clumsy but, despite the startled cry that escaped Blackarachnia's voice processor, it still felt wonderful. The techno-organic hadn't realised just how much she missed being with a mech, but at Blitzwing's kiss it all came flooding back. Everything that she hadn't experienced since the days of Elita-1 – everything that she had convinced herself she didn't need – was now what she craved more than anything else at this moment. The High Grade she'd ingested gave her the extra nudge, and as Blitzwing started to move away she gave a moan of longing, grabbing his shoulders to pull him back towards her. Sliding her servos up and over his back, she nipped his lower lip with her fangs and he responded with a shudder, servos moving up to grip her waist.

His lips still moved somewhat clumsily against hers, but as Blackarachnia slid her glossa into his mouth she barely noticed this. All she knew was that she still needed more.

Their glossas tangled desperately as one of Blitzwing's servos slid further up her body to cup her chestplate. The other slipped down and round to her aft, tweaking the sensitive wiring housed there and causing Blackarachnia to arch into him with a groan of pleasure. She pressed further into the kiss and her own servos gripped the cannons on Blitzwing's back as she swung her legs up to wrap them around his waist. As Blitzwing moved his lips away from hers to trail kisses down her neck her digits crept to the edges of his wings, their clawed tips running along the sensitive purple metal and soon producing the desired effect.

Blackarachnia felt Blitzwing's spike twitching and smiled as he gasped at the touch on his wings. She dragged his helm back toward hers and kissed him again as the triple changer headed off in the direction of his quarters.

"Blitzwing?" Blackarachnia murmured.

"Ja?"

"Why do I feel like I wouldn't normally be doing this?"

Blitzwing merely laughed as the door to his room slid open.


	2. Awakening

Rating: T

Blackarachnia opened her optics with a contented sigh. She couldn't remember feeling this happy – this _good_– in stellar cycles, and though she had yet to ascertain the source of her comfort she was perfectly fine just lying here on this berth until the answer presented itself to her.

Now that she thought about it, there was something rather odd about the berth. It seemed different – not smaller, exactly, but somehow more cramped. As she shifted slightly her arm connected with something solid and metallic, and she suddenly knew what was going on: _there was a mech in the berth with her._

At this realisation the memories of the previous night came flooding back, accompanied by a pounding processor ache. Screwing her optics shut again, she gingerly turned her helm to the side.

_Let that be a nightmare_, she prayed. _Let this be another mech, and that memory just a recharge sequence._

Sadly, this was not to be. As she cracked open an optic, she saw that the mech recharging beside her in the berth was none other than…

Blitzwing.

Primus, what had she done to deserve _this_? Of all the mechs she could have got off with while overcharged, it had to be the mental tri-polar one! And then there was the fact that they hated each other.

Blackarachnia sat up in the berth (not without a fair amount of wincing, though this was hardly surprising as she remembered Hothead showing up at one point) and groaned with a mixture of anger, embarrassment and frustration. She wasn't going to deny that she had needed last night – it had been _so long_ since she'd 'faced with a mech – but why did it have to be _Blitzwing_?

Said mech was awoken by this outburst, stretching sleepily and shuttering his optics in confusion as he exited recharge. His gaze alighted on the femme, and Blackarachnia noted with annoyance that it lingered there for a while, tracing her somewhat exposed form, before his sleep-addled processor finally put two and two together.

"Oh, frag!" he swore, bolting upright with a panicked expression on his faceplates. "Ve…ve didn't, did ve?"

"Frag's what we did, alright," Blackarachnia muttered drily, burying her helm in her servos as her armour slid back into place. "Oh, Primus… we must have been totally wasted."

A somewhat suggestive smirk found its way onto Blitzwing's faceplates.

"Vell, jou know, it vasn't all zat bad…" he murmured, trailing a servo down the femme's side.

With a furious hiss Blackarachnia jerked away from his touch, backhanding the triple changer across the faceplates. As Blitzwing cried out, switching rapidly to Hothead, the femme made a break for the door, but the mech grabbed her arm and dragged her back towards him.

"Vhat vas zat for, jou filthy glitch?" he roared, as Blackarachnia struggled to free herself from his grip.

"Keep your voice down!" the techno-organic snarled at him. "D'you _want_ to let everyone know about this?"

Blitzwing shut up immediately, though not without a fair amount of seething.

"Right, "Blackarachnia hissed. "I'm going to leave now, and you are _not_ to mention this to _anyone_. Understood?"

Hothead gave a curt nod of agreement. Narrowing her optics, the femme turned on her heel and stalked towards the door, activating the control panel and slipping into the corridor beyond. Leaning against the door, intakes cycling, she slumped backwards with a sigh and closed her optics.

_I'm never getting overcharged again…_

"Blackarachnia?"

The femme's optics snapped open as she came face to face with Thundercracker.

"Blackarachnia," the seeker repeated. "What in _Pit's_ name were you doing in Blitzwing's quarters?" His optics widened as it dawned on him. "Hang on…you weren't-?"

The techno-organic shoved past him as she made a break for her own room, one word running through her processor.

_Frag!_

**AN: In answer to one of the reviews (I feel like I should point this out) Starscream won't be showing up because he's off having his own adventure in my other fic: The Art Of Persuasion. The Cons here are all on Earth having broken out of Trypticon Prison at the start of that story. :)**

**On another note, I have a sequel up!_ Freakshow _will be longer and follows on directly from here, so if you want more go check it out!**


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